Cricket is for Sissies

I hate cricket. It is a sissy game for men with one ball. People with two balls play football, rugby or something.
First the jobless brit aristocracy started this sport to kill 5 days in a week while their missus banged 5 strangers in those 5 days. This is why girls love cricket. Besides, why do you wanna play a game for 5 days without a result.Might as well not play the game in the first place and stay at home.Then there is blame on rain, and fuckin pitch conditions.Our boys cannot play in the rain, they gonna catch cold. Bloody pantsies.
IPL however is different. It is the most boring form of porn you can watch. Here how it is -Batsman walks onto pitch,bang bang bang gone.Thats it, no seduction, no excitement. I hate this shit. I mean we all like porn, but there has got to be some quality in it too.
Football or soccer is a real man's game.It is tough, intelligent and quick and you dont stop playing if it rains or snows.Yes there are draws, but there is never a drawn tournament. There is always a winner.

Simple Rules for Kids!!

I have decided to take the initiative to write the first piece of junk material in 2010. Hope you all enjoy it.
My set of Rules for my Son( In the future ofcourse). Son becaus these rules will not work for a girl. Will have to improvise on them. May be some one from the group can add some value
Here it Goes. Its simple and straight.
1. You are at full liberty to smash the shit out of the neighbourhood boys. If however, you come back home crying, I shall destroy you
2. If I see a Sharukhan poster in your room, you will definitely be disowned from my property (whatever little i may possess)
3. If you at any time try to behave like an intellectual shithead (aka Aamir Khan, Green Energy, Save the planet types), you shall be shot in the head
4. You will not under any circumstance be encouraged to get a degree. If however, you plan to pursue such a wasteful endeavour wasting precious years of your life, it better not beEngg/Engg related/MBA.However, a degree in Farming Practices and Cultivation will be completely funded for(including the booze and stuff)- (Sharma- Keep the fertilizers ready- U know what Iam talking about)
5.You are allowed to bring gals home for the night. Girls Only. The Guy friends will be flusheddown my toilet.Value Adds Please!!

Stupid advertisements

Worst advertisement from recent times

1. Idea- Walk when you Talk.

Trust me, if anybody ( abhishek bach or his stupid father) gives me unwanted advise such as this, i would slap the living day lights out of them. Its my phone, my mouth, my tounge, my body . You give me advise, you are dead fish. Keep your advise to your self or give it to Ash.

2. Docomo Docomo.....Docommode

All sorts of funny looking Indians in some european countryside. Why are they so happy. Even our watchman has a phone. He is not so happy. You sing like this in an Indian train, say Mumbai local train, u are going to find urself near the tracks. Try it please.

3. Some soap ad- Mom singing mughal history(babar, akbar ) to her tiny daughter.

This same girl is going to grow up and drown you in the same tub. Let her bathe peacefully. Leave the kid alone for heaven sake. These same parents would expect their 95%, and force their kids to join some boring singing classes, piano classes, swimming classes, .... Wish they could just pass some common sense. A quote from my fav comedian.

How would you know if your kid is stupid?Take him to a crossroad and leave him there. If he reaches home , he is smart, else you have a stupid kid. No classes and mughal poems can help.

Lunch @ Lemon Tree, Chennai

Lunch @ Lemon Tree Coffee Shop Chennai
Has anybody had lunch @ Lemon tree, chennai, this is the worst dining experience of my life and I have no doubt about it. The only good thing was I had my droogs wid me.
So here it goes, 6 of us work pals goto this hotel and are all gung-ho about whats in store for us in the buffet. 15 mins later what we have is fish cooked as if it had undergone a mass preparation for ethnic conflict displaced people in mogadishu, africa. Chicken manchurian ( manchurian btw is the list of most abused words in india after innovation, culture, "u are a rock star"...)- have u ever tatsted the meat of a 150 year ole chicken in green colored water with salt and few sauces here and there. Sure u havent. Well I did yesterday.The chicken biryani--the chicken here was definitely butchered by quentin tarantino. No respect for the poor chicken and no respect for a wonderful dish. Then there were vegetarian dishes which I dont care a damn about and cold rotis, bad service. To add fuel to the fire we had a corporate team from Aviva , a bunch of boys eating their last supper. There was commotion, hand licking scenes all around, noise . We also had an incompetent half bald manager with a pony tail( looked like a half done circumcized dic*) walkin around and smiling like a dumb fool, expecting us to smile back. I wanted to stab the bastard then and there.PERIOD.Please dont goto this lousy place, if if its a trat from ur friend. U might be affected by mental trauma. Take care