Simple Rules for Kids!!

I have decided to take the initiative to write the first piece of junk material in 2010. Hope you all enjoy it.
My set of Rules for my Son( In the future ofcourse). Son becaus these rules will not work for a girl. Will have to improvise on them. May be some one from the group can add some value
Here it Goes. Its simple and straight.
1. You are at full liberty to smash the shit out of the neighbourhood boys. If however, you come back home crying, I shall destroy you
2. If I see a Sharukhan poster in your room, you will definitely be disowned from my property (whatever little i may possess)
3. If you at any time try to behave like an intellectual shithead (aka Aamir Khan, Green Energy, Save the planet types), you shall be shot in the head
4. You will not under any circumstance be encouraged to get a degree. If however, you plan to pursue such a wasteful endeavour wasting precious years of your life, it better not beEngg/Engg related/MBA.However, a degree in Farming Practices and Cultivation will be completely funded for(including the booze and stuff)- (Sharma- Keep the fertilizers ready- U know what Iam talking about)
5.You are allowed to bring gals home for the night. Girls Only. The Guy friends will be flusheddown my toilet.Value Adds Please!!